Friend Might Be Pregnant: 5 Tips To Support Her
By looking at our love for baby memes or how quickly our culture will make a baby video go viral, we agree that new life is beautiful. We love babies, and we especially enjoy hearing news of women expecting babies.
However, for nearly half of the women in the United States, their pregnancies were an unexpected shock. Instead of sharing the same excitement about their pregnancy news, they felt weighed down by many practical concerns ranging from how people will react to deciding if they should continue with their pregnancy.
What if your friend is having a hard time coping with her unexpected pregnancy? Fortunately, you have an opportunity to be a source of encouragement and support. In the content below, we answer how you can be a support system for a friend’s unexpected pregnancy and discuss five examples of unexpected pregnancy help in DuPage county.
Caring Network has been providing support and services for women facing unexpected pregnancy for almost 40 years. Our caring staff provides compassionate, nonjudgmental care in six pregnancy centers located throughout DuPage County. If you’d like to learn more about our work and how you can get involved, contact us today!
#1. Respond to Her News Positively
It may be possible that your friend plans to share the news of her unexpected pregnancy multiple times throughout the next several days. Imagine how difficult of a time you might have while being in her position, repeatedly hearing concerned or negative feedback when she already has so many unanswered questions.
As time continues, she may have spent plenty of time thinking negatively about both herself and her situation. Therefore, she may experience building anxiety and worry as each pressing question and thought about the future invades her mind.
These are common thoughts and fears women may have when they discover they are pregnant unexpectedly:
- How did this happen to me?
- How am I going to tell my partner, parents, family members, and friends?
- What am I going to do about this pregnancy?
- Will I be able to finish school or excel in my career?
- How will I be able to afford a child as a single parent?
- Should I keep the baby or consider an alternative like making an adoption plan?
- How can I possibly care for another child?
Therefore, it is crucial for you to not create additional anxiety for your friend by responding with disappointment or further judgment. Now is not the time to ask pressuring questions about her plans to move forward with the unexpected pregnancy. She may already be experiencing that from herself or others.
As one way to be a support system during a friend’s unexpected pregnancy, respond positively to your friend’s news. You may be the only one in her life that offers a positive and encouraging response. Additionally, calmly reassure your during this time by sharing that you will be with her every step of the way.
#2. Listen to Her Needs and Concerns
A woman experiences a vast array of emotions and concerns that change daily while unexpectedly pregnant. Therefore, it is paramount to refrain from assuming how she feels about the pregnancy.
Although your friend may appear confused or concerned, she does not need you to make any decisions for her. She needs a thoughtful listener who knows how to ask good questions that help her see her strengths and capabilities.
Below are a few items to consider that allow you to be a great listener for her:
- Listen to her needs and concerns without judgment. It is possible to disagree without condemning her for her actions.
- Listen with the goal of understanding her thought process and emotions rather than responding to or fixing her problem.
- Ask clarifying questions like, “Am I understanding correctly that you are worried about the inability to find affordable childcare?”
- After demonstrating that you carefully listened to her, offer helpful suggestions that may be the solution to her concerns.
- Convey your confidence in her capabilities, resourcefulness, and decision-making skills.
#3. Encourage Her Through This Unexpected Pregnancy
Our culture often sends the message that an unexpected pregnancy is too difficult or inconvenient to continue. Additionally, society celebrates abortion as a natural solution to unexpected pregnancies. However, such attitudes can result in your friend feeling fearful or ashamed of choosing to continue her pregnancy.
Therefore, you can be a great source of encouragement and support as she assesses her pregnancy options. Pray for her and offer to pray with her if she finds that encouraging. Take the time to regularly speak loving and life-giving words over her to remind her that she is not alone throughout this unintended pregnancy.
#4. Support Her in Practical Ways
Instead of saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” offer to help your friend with specific tasks like taking her to doctor appointments or caring for her other children while she needs to take care of other things.
Additionally, show your support for her during this time by rallying a supportive community around her. Be the person who creates a local support system for your friend. There are many creative ways to gather support such as hosting a baby shower or organizing a volunteer service that delivers cooked meals to her through a organizations like Mealtrain. Practical areas of support go a long way in communicating your care.
#5. Help Her Find Community Resources
Women can feel helpless while pondering the possibility of continuing with an unexpected pregnancy. You can be a great support by pointing her to a local pregnancy resource center where she can receive life-affirming care and access to local community resources.
In addition to pregnancy resource centers, you can help your friend research other community resources that help her navigate her unplanned pregnancy.
Together, you can Google pregnancy assistance topics such as:
- How to file for child support (necessary for government assistance)
- Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF)
- Local food pantries
- Women, Infants, and Children (WIC)
- Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP)
- Diversion Cash Assistance (DCA)
- Education grants for single mothers
- HUD Subsidized Housing Programs
- Faith-based transitional housing programs for single mothers
- Local “Earn While You Learn” programs
- Child Care Access Means Parents in School Program (CCAMPISP)
- Child Care Assistance Program (CCAP)
As you can see, unexpectedly pregnant women have distinct concerns and needs. We hope that every woman who experiences an unexpected pregnancy would have committed friends and friends rally around to encourage and be the support system she needs.
If your friend is facing an unplanned pregnancy, let Caring Network be her first step. We welcome women with unconditional love, counsel, and resources that offer the light of truth—changing hearts and saving lives. By offering free pregnancy services and compassionate support at six local centers, we provide women with the care they need at a critical time. Learn more about our work and how you can support a friend facing an unplanned pregnancy today!
